I have always tried to be positive and make the best of a situation but it is starting to become so difficult! We moved again-Howells was a horrible town! We moved to Norfolk in order to be closer to my husband's job. When we lived in Howells, he had to drive about 50 miles one way to work every day. It was hard on him and our kids so we moved into Norfolk.
Since we moved, my husband has worked pretty much non-stop. His children don't see him, I don't see him and all the responsibility of the unpacking and moving details falls on me. I feel so trapped and frustrated. He gets off work and then sits at his shop and drinks a couple beers (at least) before he decides to come home-usually sometime after 10pm. I know that I should be grateful that he is working and his job is secure but sometimes it just doesn't seem fair!!
I am so alone here, I don't know anyone and I can't really go anywhere with all of the kids. Sometimes I really hate my life. That seems horrible to say because I love my kids more than anything but I really need a break!!!! I go from 5 am until at least 9 or 10pm with the kids everyday-even when my husband is here I am still the one who gets up with them and puts them to bed.
My husband doesn't seem to notice what I am going through or maybe he just doesn't care. I don't want to make him feel guilty because I know that he really likes his job and the people that he works with but something has got to change. I don't know how I can go on like this!
Sometimes I wish that I could just leave-just walk away from everything-my kids, my husband maybe even my life. I hate feeling like this. I just want to be happy again but I feel like I have lost myself-like I don't even have an identity anymore.
Oh well, it is time to suck it up and shake it off because the kids are up and they are expecting Super Mommy and I can't let them down!
